I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize