yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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