just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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