Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was like eating out sand paper
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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