sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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