Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
