if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
