When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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