Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize