YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it hurts more in the daytime
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
