handjob tips. give me some.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
