How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She announced her abortion via fbk
she looked like the before picture.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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