I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
