Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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