i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
