Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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