Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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