I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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