hotel room ftw
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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