is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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