my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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