College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
