I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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