Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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