We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
