is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
