So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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