I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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