I will die if light touches me.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Say something about gay babies.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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