So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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