Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We had sex on a dog bed..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
