READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
