Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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