I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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