i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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