You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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