Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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