That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
