the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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