I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
