This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
