i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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