You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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