Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
