The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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