She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
