please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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