I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
