that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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