i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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