We're facebook friends in real life
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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