I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
