i would punch a child for taco bell
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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