Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
