I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
