she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
