So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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