That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
