paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
